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Weekly Poetry Thread

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  • Weekly Poetry Thread

    Fancy yourself a bit of a Bard ?
    Feel like getting your creative juices flowing?

    Here's a place to whip up some wit,
    take some time to rhyme
    and get vivacious with your vocabulary !

    Once a week, or thereabouts, one of us should
    propose a theme for anyone who wants to join in the poetic party.

    Your effort can be as long or as short as you want it to be,
    everything is welcome, from a 5 line limerick
    to your own personal magnum opus.

    It can be witty or serious,
    funny or sad, anything goes as long you stick to that
    weeks theme, even in the most tangential way,
    even if it's a bit of a stretch.

    And if you're feeling particularly inspired
    don't just stop at the one submission,
    the sky's the limit so just run with it,
    and don't forget to have fun with it !

    To start things off the first weeks theme is...


    By the way, as I am well known as the
    Queen of going Off Topic in the other
    place, I thought I would just say that
    if anyone wants to contribute something
    other than a poem yet still related to
    the theme then that would be both
    fine and very welcome.
    Last edited by Nanny Ogg; 27-08-17, 10:20 PM.

  • #2
    When everyone else is offended
    And you feel like your world has just ended
    Don't dive under a lorry
    Just tell them you're sorry
    After all... least said, soonest mended.


    • #3
      So why should i say it, this little word that you seek
      You have been going on about it, all through the week.
      Stamping and stomping, like a spoilt little child
      All steaming and boiling, with your eyes looking wild.
      But have you forgetten, how it started out this way
      Just think back a little, to when it began on that day.
      It was me who began it, yes i did stir the pot
      But you couldnt leave it, and it all got too hot.
      The dinner was nice, theres no need to be sorry
      But it was you who added, too much spice to the curry.
      Last edited by COOLOCKER; 09-07-17, 02:09 PM.


      • #4
        LOL that's a great start Jimmy, sounds just like real life LOL


        • #5


          I'm rather contrite,
          For this ditty I write,
          But my time is quite tight
          And the muse has took flight!

          Please understand my plight,
          Here's my wish to delight!
          Yet the poem is a fright,
          So I bid you good night!

          William McGonagall would be so proud!


          • #6
            I had to google that name Fishfairy, and omg he certainly was wonderfully awful wasn't he
            I'm reading more of his stuff now just for the LOLS !

            Just wrote this to try and keep the momentum going...

            The times we had, the love we shared
            We never thought that they would end
            We met as kids, you stopped and stared
            I liked your eyes, made you my friend.

            We shared the smiles, we shared the frowns
            They could not keep us apart
            And as our teenage years drew down
            I gave to you my heart.

            We married young, I could not wait
            I knew you were the one
            My love, my heart, my true soulmate
            So I gave to you, our son.

            The years flew by, a happy time
            I could not ask for more
            A happy child, a home sublime
            Who knew what lay in store ?

            Our sweet, sweet boy, so young, so strong
            One day came home, unwell
            Those haunted eyes did not belong
            In the son we knew so well.

            When the doctors said that they had done
            All that they could do
            Your anguish rang out like a gun
            And I learned to be strong for you.

            On the day he died, you leaned on me
            The way I always leaned on you
            Our broken hearts will never be
            The way they were when our love was new.

            I cry each day, how did life go so wrong ?
            I thought we had done our best.
            And now I wonder, how can we go on ?
            No parent should lay a child to rest.

            We shared the grief, we shared the tears
            And still you drew away
            I'm sorry you couldn't cherish the years
            We had until that awful day.

            I'm sorry my face, my voice, my self
            Reminds you of our boy
            I'm sorry you cannot be your old self
            And remember him with joy.

            So goodbye my love, I wish you the best
            I hope in time you heal
            You seem to forget I loved him as well
            And my pain is just as real.
            Last edited by Nanny Ogg; 08-07-17, 11:12 PM.


            • #7
              Looking good so far......wonderful posts.
              Here's my first contribution.....I am a little rusty....been a while since I wrote a poem.

              Can't Fix This

              You say those things and make me mad

              And know for sure I'll end up sad

              Every day it's the same old thing

              Don't have to guess what tomorrow will bring

              Saying you're sorry makes no difference to me

              You never mean it that's plain to see

              Maybe it's time to just move along

              Not everything gets fixed when it goes wrong
              Last edited by flutterby52212; 15-07-17, 05:20 PM.


              • #8
                Nice words Flutterby, I think we can all relate to that situation at some point in our lives.


                • #9

                  Thank you Nanny.
                  It's been a while since I sat and wrote some poetry.
                  It is good to stretch the mind a bit and use my brain a little....even if just to find some words that rhyme.


                  • #10
                    Baby Steps

                    Sorry that I gave advice

                    I was trying to be nice

                    You did not have to get all mad

                    It looked to me like you were sad

                    Thought that I could help you out

                    You did not have to start to shout

                    Needing help is not so bad

                    Helping you just makes me glad

                    You need to do this on your own

                    Lessons learned when you're full grown

                    Baby steps to a grown up stride

                    Forever you'll fill me with pride

                    Last edited by flutterby52212; 12-07-17, 05:58 PM.


                    • #11
                      Something between us was broken that day, something that could have been fixed.
                      Our love was unbreakable in every way, but that day my emotions where mixed.
                      Rest assured my sweet love it is me whos at fault, and ive come here to swallow my pride.
                      Remember me my love for the person i once was, because i can do nothing now as i hide.
                      You will always be the love to who i lied, and my message will be forever burried inside.
                      Last edited by COOLOCKER; 12-07-17, 03:45 PM.


                      • #12

                        Who's Sorry Now ?

                        You haven't heard a word I said
                        I might as well talk to the dead
                        You're not listening to me and that is clear
                        When I ask for the time don't say "yes dear"

                        Don't turn that up, it's loud enough
                        You're digging yourself into a hole
                        You're leaving now ? You're in a huff ?
                        Just 'cos I made you miss a goal ?

                        You went to the pub to watch the game
                        Seems all your mates have done the same
                        So I made some calls to all the wives
                        After which we exchanged some happy high-fives.

                        You guys should check your message log
                        And remember I lead the Coven
                        You'll find your dinner's in the dog
                        And your iPad's in the oven.

                        Last edited by Nanny Ogg; 13-07-17, 04:36 AM.


                        • #13
                          Nice work guys, lots of wit and wisdom here

                          An Apology to Animals

                          I had a nasty cold when I visited the zoo
                          I sneezed on the elephant and on the gnu.

                          I splattered the lion, sleeping in his cage,
                          Quite a bad idea, as now he's in a rage!

                          I coughed rather loudly and made the camel jump,
                          He must be upset as I see he's got the hump...

                          I stopped to sneeze again, over by the ocelot,
                          He's not very happy, covered in a lotta snot!

                          I caused feathery chaos with the birds of prey,
                          Left them all praying for me to go away

                          Well I avoided the dolphin, but got the giant tortoise...
                          I am so sorry animals, but I didn't do it on PORPOISE!

                          (No animals were harmed in the composition of this poem)


                          • #14
                            OK ! The first week is over and we have
                            had some lovely and creative contributions.
                            Thank you to everyone who made an effort,
                            I hope this weeks theme inspires more of the same.

                            The theme for this week is inspired by the
                            What did you last eat thread and is :

                            Food !

                            __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________

                            Never bake when you are baked
                            Your cakes will turn to glue
                            Your bread will turn into concrete
                            And your meringues will turn into goo.

                            Never fry when you are fried
                            Your eggs will turn into cardboard
                            Your bacon won't be fit to eat
                            And your sausages will be abhored.

                            Never stew when you are stewed
                            Your casseroles will be top heavy
                            Your dumplings will sag like a saggy thing
                            After which you will need a strong bevy.

                            Never make pies when you are pie-eyed
                            Your pastry will taste like your socks
                            Your fillings will dry up and shrivel
                            And look like your husbands old jocks.

                            So just remember, when you are cooking
                            That it's better if it's done sober
                            Cos' things go awry when you are not looking
                            So just grab a take-out and game over !


                            • #15
                              If you burn it, cremate it, theres no need to sweat.
                              Theres food in the fridge, that hasnt gone off just yet.

                              Just open the door, and have a look around inside.
                              Theres eggs, and some salad, that can go on the side.

                              The press is not empty, theres food there as well.
                              Some bread, some biscuits, as long as they dont smell.

                              The garden is full, with veggies all fully grown.
                              But if you dont like what rabbits eat, theres no need to frown.

                              Remember all is not lost, there is no need to pray.
                              Just pick up the phone, and order a takeaway.
                              Last edited by COOLOCKER; 16-07-17, 04:58 PM.


                              • #16
                                Grocery List

                                Apples for my apple pie

                                Grapes look good give them a try

                                Tomatoes for my sauce to make

                                Flour for I need to bake

                                Making sandwiches need some bread

                                Peanut butter is a terrific spread

                                Need some jam I'm almost out

                                Must get milk there is no doubt

                                Chop meat for the burgers tonight

                                Pick up fries I think I might

                                A box of cereal which to get

                                Plenty of choices no need to fret

                                Yogurt for a little snack

                                Choices here they do not lack

                                Just a few things for today

                                Brought enough money I hope and pray

                                Ask anyone for it's no lie

                                The cost of living is just too high
                                Last edited by flutterby52212; 16-07-17, 06:20 PM.


                                • #17

                                  There was a young baker named Flutter
                                  Who was rather too fond of the butter
                                  She had it with greens for lunch
                                  and dinner and breakfast and brunch
                                  And became known as the local peanutter.

                                  A short-order cook called CooLocker
                                  Was also a bit of a rocker
                                  He ate drumsticks for dinner
                                  And was always a winner
                                  When frying chips to a song by Joe Cokker*.

                                  A Wedding Cake maker called Fairy
                                  Was a little allergic to dairy
                                  She replaced eggs and milk
                                  With Tarantula silk
                                  And all her cakes turned out toxic and hairy.

                                  A Cookery Teacher called Zanna
                                  Made desserts that tasted like Mana
                                  Her skills were the best
                                  And she made them with zest
                                  And a three day old rum-soaked banana.

                                  An admin well known as the doc
                                  Was told that his cooking was crock
                                  Soggy fries and burnt pie
                                  Rock hard biscuits so dry
                                  And his puddings tasted like sock.

                                  Martin, that affable chap
                                  downloaded a cookery app
                                  Imagine the ructions
                                  When he misread the instructions
                                  And ran his phone under the hot water tap.

                                  Colin went out in his car
                                  Although he didn't get very far
                                  He came to a stop
                                  At the local chip shop
                                  And bought a battered and deep-fried Mars bar.

                                  A disgusting old baggage called Nan
                                  Forgot to wash out the frying pan
                                  When Hubby got home
                                  He had a good moan
                                  In his three day old shorts, typical man.

                                  * Btw, I had to mispell Joe Cokkers' name because
                                  the dumb profanity filter can't tell the
                                  difference between a name and a swear word LOL
                                  Last edited by Nanny Ogg; 08-08-17, 05:32 PM.


                                  • #18
                                    I am flattered to be included in your wonderful rhyme-tastic lyrical masterpiece.

                                    You do have a way with words that's for sure.

                                    Very clever and creative.

                                    Everyone contributing here is doing a terrific job.


                                    • #19
                                      Thanks Flutter, glad you like it


                                      • #20

                                        Food for thought

                                        Nectar feeds the humming bird, the butterfly and bee.
                                        The great whales filter krill, roaming in the sea.
                                        Gentle cows graze grass, chewing on their cud,
                                        Squirrels collect acorns as they scamper through the wood.

                                        The lioness drags her kill, back to her lair,
                                        As swifts catch flies as they swoop through the air.
                                        An osprey hunts for fish in the waters of the loch,
                                        Wolves stalk a sheep straying from the flock.

                                        The man is sitting down to his third meal today,
                                        While his wife throws piles of uneaten food away.
                                        Their kids are out, eating burgers and fries,
                                        And while you read this, a starving child dies