Introducing myself

[Nanny Ogg]

Ooooh, very close Nan. With the word glass, lol.



Now, who can give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it? lol.

LOL now that's a photoshop ! LOL

And why stop at a sentence when I can wax lyrical...........

I'm not a gambler so I don't punt
I'm not a smoker but I tried a blunt
It was less a case of fascinate
And more a case of hallucinate
When it turned me into a dopey < insert your own ending here >

[Fred Jones]

Ooooh, very close Nan. With the word glass, lol.



Now, who can give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it? lol.

Sadly now they have certain areas you can smoke in.

i get what you are referring to, I have a shirt on not flashing my tatts, but you did a bit of work and filled up my glass, cheers

When I was on reptile forum people used to photoshop their snakes for sale and a lot of people were peed off. I never photoshop

Nan that is the reason why I am Fred, not Steve online. Put it this way those c45ts from school made me insecure because they were jealous of not only my sports skills (I could tackle mark carrol by myself and he played for Australia) I was 3rd last to do chin ups and the best was 6 and I counted out 8, then held myslef up and looked at the rest and just dropped and said that will do. I scored the only goal in handball from outside the box left hand side. They lied to me about what you guys are referring to so I had no confidence with women, but it is not that big haha

My aunt bought a cardigan with 10 buttons but her tits are so big she can only facinate. Will that do?

[Fred Jones]

I'm not a gambler so I don't punt
I'm not a smoker but I tried a blunt
It was less a case of fascinate
And more a case of hallucinate
When it turned me into a dopey
I slipped on a slopey
decline and that was my fate

[Fred Jones]

The thing is guys at school were jealous that i had no fear of snakes, spiders, scorpions etc. I caught my first brown snake (pretty dangerous) at 15 yrs old and got bitten the only time by a yellow faced whip snake i tickled under the chin twice haha (my arm swelled up a lot) I caught a death adder when I was 17. But the thing I used to love catching was these lace monitors. They have 5 claws on each foot which are made to climb trees. They also have razor sharp teeth and this is what they are typically like when encountered. The only things they think about is food, shelter and reproduction. I thought this was a gravid (eggs inside) because i tipped him upside down 3 times when I caught him and he if he had have done the normal response which is exposing one or two hemipenes (reptiles has 2 penises) I would have let him go but I am guessing he ate a possum or some large thing because he was so fat and it was the right time of year. I took him home on the train and kept him inside until I took all the ticks off him (I have removed over a hundred from one lizard) Then I introduced him to Cuddles and Snuggles my gumnut babies (Enid Blyton) and he crapped and out popped a hemmy so I said "Oh f" and got his pic. This is typical Varaus varuis behaviour, yet I tamed 2 wild caught and you know their names.

[Fred Jones]

Just incase people think I am cruel to animals well this was a currawong who I fed the day before on a nieghbour's orchid house and it tapped on the window at 9 am for more food 2 days in a row. it always spread it's wings but ate out of my hand. like crows they have intelligence. btw I fed it grasshoppers natural food for them, not crap people usually feed birds but sadly I went out the 3rd day and didn't see it again. I think it was a bit wary because someone else was close taking the pic

[COOLOCKER]

My aunt bought a cardigan with 10 buttons but her tits are so big she can only facinate. Will that do?

LOL, that was the answer i was looking for Fred.

[Nanny Ogg]

Fred Jones

I liked your clever ending and you turned my limerick into a little poem LOL

That cardigan joke was great too, I literally laughed out loud

[Fred Jones]

Fred Jones

I liked your clever ending and you turned my limerick into a little poem LOL

That cardigan joke was great too, I literally laughed out loud

Nanny I was gonna mention you in this chat. I need a break from 3 call all shot games, but so glad that you laughed, I like to make people laugh. Even though I failed English (my only language) I can do some pretty good spur of the moment one liners. One day 2 guys were counting cash in the strongrroom with a money counter and I walked in just after one asked "What is worse than catching aids?" I don't know if I should say what I said but I had them in stitches.

What I was gonna crap on about was usually when I am out I am charismatic, that cute girl (who is young enough to be my daughter, I am 55 almost) I'd only just met and we were cheek to cheek. I have done that a lot, but never abused it. The main problem i have is not to swear too much

In the bank I got invited to 2 girl's weddings (the only guy invited) and at TAFE I got invited to a girl's engagement and wedding.

basically I'm a nice guy who treats people the way they treat me.

But this was the best bird I ever had and I cried for a week when he died in 1993. He could never fly and I caught him in the bush. I called up wires (a rescue service and they told me to bring him in so they could put him down) I said F you and hung up.

he would jump on my hand and bite me (drawing blood) when I gave him flowers. i had to peg them in his cage because he would jump on them. They are nectar eaters with a brush tongue and they screech loudly, so I called him Noisy. he would follow me like a dog. Every time the phone rang he knew to say hello and he did until it stopped ringing. i had to wear a crappy jumper because nectar is liquid. Anyway i am gonna play some more pool. Cheers

[Fred Jones]

Almost forgot about this, but I met quite a few high school girls on a street corner in Sydney, said the right crap to them and asked for a pic with them

[cidercoder]

Think we now need a sentence with the word 'contagious' in it

[Fred Jones]

Think we now need a sentence with the word 'contagious' in it

Why???? That was years ago before all the covid crap.

Make your own thread and think up a sentence.

I'll do it for you. Stupidity is contagious if you make an incorrect inference and broadcast it on the internet.

[imaginary]

[cidercoder]

Why???? That was years ago before all the covid crap.

Make your own thread and think up a sentence.

I'll do it for you. Stupidity is contagious if you make an incorrect inference and broadcast it on the internet.

[COOLOCKER]

Think we now need a sentence with the word 'contagious' in it

lol, i know this one cidercoder . But i will leave it hanging for a bit first.

[cidercoder]

lol, i know this one cidercoder . But i will leave it hanging for a bit first.

Probably a wise move ! It's a classic lol (and you might get a ban !)

[Nanny Ogg]

Probably a wise move ! It's a classic lol (and you might get a ban !)

Ban ? After what I got away with ? Not gonna happen cider LOL

Also I know the joke you're talking about too, it's old but gold so I found a version that is not only right up to date but appropriately topical.................................


Teacher: "Billy, can you give me a sentence with the word contagious in it?"

Billy: "Well Miss, my Dad said that Trump should have responded to the COVID-19 outbreak quickly and decisively but it took the contagious"

[cidercoder]

Ban ? After what I got away with ? Not gonna happen cider LOL

Also I know the joke you're talking about too, it's old but gold so I found a version that is not only right up to date but appropriately topical.................................


Teacher: "Billy, can you give me a sentence with the word contagious in it?"

Billy: "Well Miss, my Dad said that Trump should have responded to the COVID-19 outbreak quickly and decisively but it took the contagious"

Ha Ha ! Spot on Nanny Ogg !

The original one I heard years ago was Billy's Dad referring to how long it was taking his neighbour to paint his garage !

[COOLOCKER]

Ban ? After what I got away with ? Not gonna happen cider LOL

Also I know the joke you're talking about too, it's old but gold so I found a version that is not only right up to date but appropriately topical.................................


Teacher: "Billy, can you give me a sentence with the word contagious in it?"

Billy: "Well Miss, my Dad said that Trump should have responded to the COVID-19 outbreak quickly and decisively but it took the contagious"

Honestly, LMFAO at this one. Once a C*nt always a contagious, lol. Nice one cidercoder and Nanny Ogg .

[MaDsEaSoN]

Damn it Fred! Why did you have to go and get perma banned!

I wanted a sweater.

[Cheetah Girl]

Welcome to the forum MaDsEaSoN . I hope you stay here and help us out to improve this forum . Thank you